I can remember the first time I got an HIV test; I was 35-years of age. The fear was huge.
Things were running through my mind at the time. Like, what if I come out positive? Am I going to die? Will my parents treat me different? Will my friends find out? How do I tell my partner? Will my partner leave me if I tell her? All these thoughts were just procrastinating the decision.
There was not a moment when I thought I was going to come out negative. Today I realize that it was the fear that made me believe that I was going to come out positive.
In 2003 AIDS Project Worcester offered two types of HIV tests, the Ora-Sure HIV test which is an oral swab and the traditional blood draw. I wanted to get tested but I didn’t want to wait a week for the blood draw results to come back. I don’t think I could have lasted a week for the results. In 2004 AIDS Project Worcester began to offer the Ora-Quick rapid HIV test, which gives you a preliminary HIV results in 20-minutes.
I had spoken to a co-worker about my interest in having an HIV test, especially since I could get a preliminarily result in 20-minutes. But at the same time I was still a little hesitant. My co-worker sat me down and explained to me that it would be better and more comforting to know my status now rather then later.
She reassured me that I was not going to die, that medicine has made great strides in the fight against HIV. She also told me that it was my right if I chose not to disclose my status with friends if I was to come out positive. She also explained to me that if I came out negative there are ways that I can maintain my negative status through prevention methods.
The day was finally here when I made up my mind and decided that I would go ahead and have an HIV test done. I was very nervous but the person who tested me was comforting and it made feel so much better.
When I went back after the 20-minutes, I received a negative result.
I can’t put into words my feelings at that moment. All these feelings came over me — I just know that I felt so relieved, like this joy came over me.
Today I have an HIV test done at least two-times a year and I am very comfortable and have become educated in prevention methods.

Marilyn Rodriguez